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There was a woman…

Since writing to God, as usual I am calm….

God seems to be working through me, in me, to help me and others around me. I don’t know why He chose me, I am far from perfect, so very far. But then, there was a woman…read Luke 7:36-42….

Originally written 2/12/87

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Help me

I have many faults. Whatever they are, help me never to be guilty of any conscious cruelty. There is so much cruelty, and suffering is so wide spread in this world; lonely, agonizing suffering of human lives. Kindness, we all crave for it; to give it or receive it–yet, we are afraid to reach out, to touch, afraid of being conspicuous. Often we look the other way, close our eyes to the unjust; on guard against the hurt….We are not animals who must destroy or kill each other in order to survive; we are God’s children. Jesus was sent to each of us to teach us compassion and love.

Originally written 23/10/87
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Dear God,

Thank you….Thank you for friendship, for family, for friends
Thank you for love, thank you for my life, thank you for my gifts.
My heart is filled with emotion that words can’t always express.
I reach out towards you. I offer you my love…
Lord I feel your presence, right here, right now…
I feel you everywhere this day; I give myself to your world…
Your presence is a delight…

Love, Carol

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When I go Home again

When I go Home again

It comes to me often in silence
When night falls.
The shadows of the moon flicker
I dream of the glorious greeting
I yearn for familiar warmth and welcome….
There will be peace.
There will be music.

The hands of Angels will welcome me
When I go Home again

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A Mother’s Prayer

Dear God,

There are times when I do not understand what lies ahead for me. I will always remain totally confused as to why I have been chosen and honoured with raising one of Your very special children. Why, I can’t comprehend, but will try with all my heart to do my very best….I tried to shut You out when Jayne was born and I hated You, but with all Your wisdom You knew better and have welcomed me back…

I love my special child so much that it hurts, but You I love more…I worship You with all my heart….Thank You for bringing me back.

Forever yours…Carol

To my kids: I hope you will enjoy reading this journal and that it brings back a lot of memories….Some of my feelings and memories are sad, some are happy and some you will not understand….Don’t ever be afraid of your feelings, don’t keep them to yourself, share them with someone, someone special….Whatever you end up doing in your life enjoy it and appreciate what you have, and most of all be closer to your God.

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He is

I don’t believe that He is because He answers my prayers;
My prayers are answered because He is….
I don’t believe that He is because he listens to me;
He listens because He is….
I don’t believe that He is because He knows my thoughts;
He knows my thoughts because He is….
I don’t believe that He is because he solves my problems;
He is, even when they go unsolved….
I don’t believe that He is because He loves me
He loves me because, because He Is….

He is because He is.

Originally written 25/4/89

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Each and every part of me You put together in my mothers womb;

“Created! What a Miracle!”

A strange, gloriously wonderful secret formed by God.
I cannot begin to even imagine my bones forming
and growing in there.

You saw me and You knew me before I was born;

“Created! What a miracle!”

With all my heart I give thanks and praise You
for Creation…my Creation.

“At the end, I had written in my hand writing; ‘I have just read Psalm 139, and my heart is pounding….What does this mean?’…Carol”